


Yesterday

by fortissimi



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Angst, Deaf Character, Deaf Hiro, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Tadashi Lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 01:34:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3469493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortissimi/pseuds/fortissimi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiro saves his brother Tadashi at the cost of one thing - his hearing.<br/>Now Tadashi is struggling with the guilt of letting this happen to his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Something and Nothing

# Something and Nothing

Hiro's skin was burning. His eyes, his mouth, his throat, everything was on fire. Every inch of his body was screaming at him to get away, run, _run Hiro you can't stay here you'll get burned you'll die for God's sake run,_ but he wouldn't let himself. He couldn't. He was watching as his brother ran straight towards the inferno, heart set on finding his beloved professor. Time was frozen and running out at the same time, and everyone's screams were blending into background noise, _and oh God Tadashi he's going to die I have to save him I have to save him I have to..._ He shook his head. He wouldn't let Tadashi die.

A second passed and his feet were pounding like his heart. He was catching up now, but the door was right there and his brother was about to run in, _my only brother my family I'll be an only child he can't die I can't let him die._ Now suddenly, his fingertips were brushing the back of Tadashi's jacket, and he was _so close_ to saving him. He grabbed his brother's arm, and he pulled, and he wouldn't budge, and he pulled harder, and Tadashi fell hard, down the steps, down to the bottom, and now he was safe, and everything was okay and-

Burning. Bright white light and fire and heat and _burning._  
Pain and screaming and burning and  
nothing.

~*~

Something. Suddenly, there was something. A ringing in his ears. And it was loud. It was so, so loud. And as the noise began to fade, he let his eyes flutter open. At first, all he saw was bright light. He shuddered as a shadow of that painful burning shot through him. His gaze shifted slowly sideways. A pale, tired figure was hunched over in a chair beside him. Who was it? His vision was so blurry, but he was so tall and his black hair and his white shirt and it had to be-

"Tadashi?"

He paused. Where was his voice? Had he even spoken? The figure hadn't moved. No. No, _no, no no._ This couldn't be real, this wasn't happening, this was-

"TADASHI!"

His voice was vibrating in his throat, but where was the sound? His brother shot up. His mouth was moving frantically but no words were coming out. And suddenly, the truth hit him. This was real. 

Now he was screaming. His lungs were forcing the air in and out, and he was kicking as his brother restrained him. And all in deadly silence. There were tubes and wires of all sorts pumping chemicals into him, and he felt like a lab rat and he wanted to _escape._ He wanted to scream loudly enough for the world to hear, because he couldn't hear it himself. A pain like shattered glass was making its way up his throat and everything _hurt._ A nurse ran in, obviously hearing the screaming though Hiro couldn't. Before he could stop, before he could calm down, the drugs were already in his system, and everything was going black and _I am deaf. I am deaf Tadashi is alive and nothing is okay._

Tears and panting and his brother's tear-stained face and  
darkness and slowing down and calm and  
something and  
nothing.


	2. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tadashi realises what his survival has done to his brother.

# Breathe

Tadashi breathed. Of course, he'd been breathing his whole life, but he'd never been so aware of every breath. Every ragged breath in was against the odds. These were breaths he never should have taken. But of course, he had. He'd survived. And for what? They said he'd been lucky. He'd escaped with barely a few burns. But how lucky could he really be? His brother had nearly died due to his own stupidity. He'd been an idiot, and selfish, _and now Hiro is deaf and it's your fault, you idiot! You did this to him. You did this you did this you did this you-_ Stop. Blaming himself wouldn't bring back Hiro's hearing. Even if it was his fault. Every moment he could feel the guilt coursing through his veins. He didn't want for this to happen. He wished he could turn back time and fix things, and take his little brother's place and _it should have been me. I should have died. He's only fourteen it should have been me it should have been me it should have been-_  
Hiro had saved his life. His brave, selfless, stupid little brother had been the sole reason he'd survived. And right now, with every breath, he wished he hadn't.

Hiro hadn't spoken a word in the week since he'd left the hospital. All attempts at conversation from Aunt Cass through written means had been ignored or rejected. And Tadashi? He wouldn't even look at him. Hiro was slowly, piece by piece, cutting himself off from the world, and he was choking, choking under the smothering weight of his disability. He had pushed his brother away, his own brother, who he'd given up his ability to hear to save, and now he couldn't _breathe._ He didn't leave his room, he didn't respond to his friends' texts, he didn't eat. He was getting thinner by the day. He barely slept. Hiro was not himself. He was a shadow of the headstrong, cocky, confident boy who'd run into the fire after his brother. He lived in a noiseless world. He longed to hear the sound of his brother's footsteps in the morning, his aunt's off-key singing in the shower, Mochi's low purring when you petted him just above the leg. He was falling deep into a dark depression, and there seemed to be no way out. 

Seemed.

~*~

It was a sunny morning when Hiro found the microbot. Tadashi had already left for school, leaving Hiro behind since he couldn't exactly go any more. The thought was depressing. He'd been moping in his bed, writing in his journal. It was all he could bring himself to do. The light from the window behind him shone on the hundreds of crumpled pieces of paper on the floor, scrapped ideas to bring back his hearing. None of them would work. He swung a foot over the side of the bed, tired of lying in one place for so long. His unbrushed hair swinging limply by his face. He didn't realise until he was halfway up that he'd left his megabot on the floor beside his bed. He slipped hard and fell with a thud. He assumed there had been a noise. What would it even have sounded like? Oh God, was he really forgetting what things sounded like already? These thoughts were spinning in his head, hurting him, digging up the anxiety that he'd been trying so hard to bury, _I'm forgetting. I can't remember. Do I even remember the sound of my own voice? Of Tadashi's?_ Suddenly, a little twitch caught his eye. It was coming from his hoodie, the one he'd been wearing the night of the fire. He swallowed as bile rose in his throat. No, he didn't want to remember it. He was about to look away when the pocket twitched again. This time, ignoring the voice in his head telling him to stop, he reached into the pocket and pulled out the tiny twitching robot. Now he was confused. Pushing himself off of the hard ground, he trapped the bot in a petri dish before it could fly out of his hand. A moment of observation showed that the little robot seemed to be trying to go somewhere. But that was impossible. Yet, it was happening. So he did the only thing he could do. He called Tadashi.

~*~

"T-Tada...shi? I... need your... he-help."  
 _I've forgotten how to speak. I can't speak._

"Hiro! I... shit, he can't hear me! I'm coming."  
 _What's happening to him? Is he hurt? I can't lose my little brother, not now. I can't..._

Breathe, Tadashi.

_Breathe._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for all the kudos and comments! This isn't my regular writing style, I'm trying to see if I can write the characters more accurately if I delve into their thoughts every so often.


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